is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I need a beard to bite.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
