I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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