Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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