i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
