How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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