I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
