Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
