What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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