BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
