i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
