We're like a lot better than the average bears
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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