I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
