after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
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My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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