Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
