can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
