how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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