We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
