Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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