Got a toothbrush?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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