I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
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