I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
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