We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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