I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
