Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
