i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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