I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
