Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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