i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
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I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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