my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
