I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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