Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
