the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
