Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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