He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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