i barfeds in our rink
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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