I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
