All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
