They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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