it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
