Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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