i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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