It's like a parade of train wrecks.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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