Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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