Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
