guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I need moral support for this bender
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
