my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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