Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
