my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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