Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
