and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
