didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
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And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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