I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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