this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
