my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
