Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
