JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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