Define "chronic" masturbator.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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