hell yes lets make some ravioli
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
