Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
