The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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