Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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