I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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