Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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