That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
